4 Essentials: How is Your Teen’s Mental Health?

A teenager seems distracted nowadays with television, and telephones, and behold the boyfriend!  Yes, my lovely daughter and her boyfriend have this unique system. Let me say, I don’t care for it as much as she believes I do. It is nothing personal regarding him or her.

The thing is they immediately start talking when their alarms go off and so forth until school starts; they are at it again when school lets out up to the time her phone shuts off. I manage to toss in a few chores to break it up, but she manages to multitask him right on in there. The girl got it honest, I multitask people and my to-do list too.

Do we as parents ensure that our teens know how to juggle schedules, tasks, activities, friendships, and relationships, including drama? They can quickly get overloaded.

Do we check in with them about their ups and down (because we know those hormones are sporadic)?

Sometimes they seem to be their normal teen self but honestly, they may be battling things they wish they could talk to you about.

These teens seem so busy with school, after-school activities, social gatherings, et cetera that they forget to breathe and be happy kids.

Even the parents get so strung out that they do not know what is up or down. I know I stay consumed with my schooling and work too. I try to accommodate the kid’s softball, and football schedules as best I can. The church is big to us and we make those days as well.

What I am getting at is we all stay so busy. How do we find the time to teach our kids the essentials?

We should initiate some encouragement towards them and help them to understand home is where they need to fail and try again. It is just a matter of time before they mess up, but that is the point, let them know it is okay but as long as they try to fix it. Home is the foundation, and from that, they can learn how to balance all that they have going on or by letting something go for the greater good of their health.

I did that with one of my kids and had her decide on two sports instead of doing it all. I know she can do many things but there is no reason to extend herself that far and end up physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

So, I pulled the “mom card” and decided for her. The kid is much happier and less stressed because of it. Her grades are outstanding, and her attitude is much better to be around.

Parents are to guide, encourage, protect, love, and show Grace when they fail. Yes, it will be messy, and no we will not always get it right as parents. However, it is important for parents to help manage a teen’s mental health because they do not understand the how-to.

They battle things at school that at times they do not want to share with their parent. We show them that home is their safe haven. We are their go-to person when the world seems to be closing in on them.

What is crazy, is what we think that bothers them is not that big of a deal, but goes to show those are major because this is currently what they are dealing with. They are not dealing with adult problems yet, so everything that is happening to them is top notch and they need understanding.

4 essentials that teens could use to better their Mental Health:

o   Kids need reassurance. Meaning that they are good, kind, and LOVED. Tell them all the time and make it a point to remind them of the good qualities, because it seems we immediately correct and discipline. When was the last time you spoke those words over them? I understand I had to catch myself because we just assume that they know they are all those wonderful things, but do they really know?

o   Limit the pressure. They get it from the principal, teachers, coaches, and now when they come home from their parents/guardians. Try to go easy on them when they first get home and ask them how their day was. Not just in passing but have them sit down and look at you and ask them did anything funny or bad happened. Yes, they will be reluctant to say anything, but I promise they will look forward to those after-school talks with you. You want them to look forward to coming home.

o   Pay attention to mood swings. Do not assume it is just them being a teen. Discuss the matter and make it a point to let them know you are there for them. Teens feel like no one understands them or they might be getting misunderstood or bullied. There might be drama happening that needs your attention. It could even be that schoolwork is making them believe that they are a letdown, and they don’t know how they are going to explain their report card to you.

o   Limit electronics and social networks. They need a separation from all of that to experience life outside and around the people that love them. Pull out board games, dice, and spoons. Have a family night.

Life needs brakes but since it does not operate that way, we need to manage what we are able to and quit overloading our schedules by blotting out the most important parts of why we are a family in the first place. Connect, reconnect, and create memories with your Teen. Show them they have you to run to.

(All that I had shared is my opinion and not family counseling advice).